Just thinking

I'm guessing that most bottoms and slaves fantasize about someone slightly older, definitely stronger and larger, as well as ruthlessly demanding to dominate them. I know that is what I fantasized about when I went out on the prowl. I never dismissed someone because they were smaller or younger because it did nothing for me but limit my experiences.

I once bumped into a guy that I would consider tiny. I'm 6'1" and he was less that 5'6". His fantasies were opposite of mine. He like to dominate bigger guys, especially guys my height of taller. I wondered if it was because he had some sort of size envy or was teased for being a small guy. He talked me into going home with him one night. He handcuffed my hands behind my back and enforced his commands with an electric baton that he bought at The Spy Store. One brush with that toy told me that he wasn't messing around. He was not afraid of causing another guy pain and as it turned out, he was ruthlessly creative.

As I got to know him, I learned that he had a black belt in several martial art forms. Not only that, he could move like a monkey to dominate his opponents. We got to be close and he referred to me as "his boy", especially at parties or bars.

When I answered Master's ad looking for men to treat as objects, I gave no credence for to my fantasies concerning age or strength. I answered it because unless he was a bull shitter, he was ruthlessly demanding. He was looking for a pain pig to keep in bondage. I was emotionally at a loss in my life and looking for someone to give me a thrill. I definitely wasn't looking for what I found.
He is slightly older, much larger and stronger and frighteningly (at times) demanding.

Sometimes I wonder at my good fortune, especially now that we've gotten to know and trust each other. We've come a long way since the days in his dungeon when I was left alone on the floor wrapped in a straightjacket, blindfolded and gagged with duct tape with a three foot chain attaching my collar to the floor. I lay, seemingly ignored for days, in the mess that I had no choice in making.
He beat my ass brutally for making the mess after I had been forced to clean it. Oddly enough, it was never enough. The longer he kept me prisoner, the more I could see into his heart and like what I
knew of him.

Master encourages me in everything that I do unless it is pure folly. He keeps hold of my leash which is often too long and he is endlessly kind but still, his ownership is obvious in the way that he controls me. "Das Es" as Freud called it, sometimes longs for more of what happened in our first thirty days of being Owner and object. The problem is that I think we passed our ability to more than entertain it in play for more than a few days. It would not be possible to function as a useful member of society without exploring a more constructive purpose, especially given the dreams that we are building on together.

 

This photo is from ropestopbay. It is not me.
Master loves this position. He keeps me in it for long periods of time.
He can actually carry me around when I am frog tied.
It becomes painful.

Who knows, maybe he will put me in a straightjacket and chain me to the floor again sometime in the future and maybe he will find strength to leave me there longer. It would be more demoralizing for me now that I have so much that I love doing everyday. Maybe I am just full of egotistical bull shit.