Here's a question for you.
When you are in bondage:
Do you struggle the whole time?
Do you struggle to test the bondage them relax once you know you can't get free?
The question came up the last night when mike gagged me with socks that he had worn all weekend then tied me with my arms pulled up behind my back. He tied my ankles so my legs were crossed and then tied a rope around my neck and pulled that down to my ankles. I struggled like hell but then stopped when I knew for sure that I couldn't escape.
Mike wanted to see me struggle more but I sunk into such a submissive state that I was more interested in feeling helpless and the increasing pain caused by my position.
Apologies for that last comment. I had only just found your blog again after what, 5 or 6 years. Life here has been a bit of a turmoil at times. I'm sorry that you seem to have lost Ian, or rather he's lost you. Can't have been easy. The California house will be better with you visiting and caring once again though. Maybe in time the agriculture there will improve? I suppose it needs full time work and the will to make it so. Hopefully you're at peace with yourself, internal struggles are self defeating, as I have found out. Be the best we can is about it these days. Anyhow, I do wish you well.
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