Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Reaching Inside

Sometimes, Master reaches deep inside of me and takes my fluttering and trembling heart and holds it gently and takes it inside of him where he protects, calms and nurtures it. It is a place of quiet rest.

I am not the easiest person to live with, at least that is what I think. My mind is noisy and often filled with neurotic thoughts. I can be distrustful but I intentionally make myself vulnerable to show myself that I can trust. I can find love by loving, even when I think I am unlovable. I cry to battle my stoicism and hug when I feel like isolating myself behind arms folded in front of my chest.

Master understands though he is so much my opposite


We skied every day and then scoured the shops for the fancy to buy. Cowboy hats and boots, hand woven blankets from Native Americans, antique clay pots and a cedar chair for the gallery in the center of our home. My favorite was a walking stick made from the root of a Juniper.

We sat in the Japanese tub every night drinking John Jameson Irish Whisky that has a 1964 tax stamp over the bottle cap. Does whisky age like a great bottle of red wine? I'm not sure but it tasted good enough to slowly sip.

Play was limited to a few pieces of rope and Master's belt, his cock, my mouth and ass. I am wearing the Carrara Chastity Belt and Master said he left the key at home. I am still locked in it.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Simple Bondage? Was it a Time Out?

Master restrained my hands behind my back for the evening and made me stand holding a dime between my nose and the wall. He watched an entire movie while I stood there. The dine slipped because of my sweat which caused me to receive ten whacks with his belt.

Don't let anyone tell you that standing for hours holding a dime against the wall isn't hard bondage.
My entire body started to ache and sweat.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015


The Rubber Suit?
It's a full rubber suit made of thick latex that incorporates feet, mitts and hood with only holes for breathing. It is shoulder entry. The zippers meet at the top of the head. The zipper has large enough hole in allow a padlock to pass through. The suit has a rubber flap on the inside under the zipper.

It's a bit of over kill but there is a thick rubber strap across the chest, at the waist, wrists and above the ankles that also lock. I can fit the foot into loose rubber boots for outside wear. There is no access to body parts and the rubber is so thick that vision is completely blocked. I felt claustrophobia the first time I got zipped into it.

Queso Asadaro is a Mexican Cheese that melts very easily. It is very common in the US and inexpensive. I think any milky, easily melted cheese would work. I bet Gruyere would be more tasty and melts nicely.

Writing a recipe for a kinky blog seems hilarious to me. We often joke about hearing big hunky leather tops exchanging recipes in a leather bar while pulsing fuck music pounds in the background. It's one of the reasons I wrote the recipe.

I am working in my studio as much as I can this week. Master is constantly distracting with his frequent demands for sexual release. (What's a slave to do ?) Let's put a grin behind that question (:

We're going to Aspen for a long weekend beginning Friday and coming home the following Tuesday.
It's the second time this winter.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015


I rarely cramp and if I am tight from being immobile, it's just a matter of stretching and warmth then I am set to go. Studying Yoga and Qi Gong help in controlling my body.

So this is going to be weird but here's a recipe for "Almost Vegetarian - Almost Perfectly Good for You Chili" that I whipped together.

3 pounds Butternut Squash - peeled and cut into big bite sized chunks
1 Large yellow onion - diced
1 Head of garlic - roasted
3 large shallots - finely chopped
6 organic carrots chopped into bite sized pieces
1 red, yellow and orange bell peppers - chopped in 1/2 inch peices
1 jalapeno pepper - finely chopped, remove seeds and membrane if you can't stand the heat
1 28 ounce can of Cannellini beans with the liquid
1 pound frozen corn or roasted corn cut of the cob (Trader Joes has roasted frozen corn)
1 28 ounce can diced fire roasted tomatoes
1 28 ounce can of tomato sauce
1 quart vegitable or chicken stock
2 tablespoons of dried oregano
2 tablespoons of chili powder
1/2 teaspoon of red chili flakes
2 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa

Salt and pepper to taste

1 big bag of Frito Lay Fritos.

Have all the ingredients ready.

Sautee onions in a large heavy pot with copious amounts of olive oil. Add a pinch of salt until they are translucent. Add shallots and continue to sauté. Squeeze the roasted garlic into the pot then stir to combine. Add chopped peppers and a bit of salt and sauté' then the carrots and squash. Add tomatoes and tomato sauce. Simmer for a few minutes then add the beans with the liquid. Add corn and the jalapeno, vegetable stock then turn the heat to high.  Add the herbs and spices and bring to a boil then turn off the heat and set the entire pot into a 300 degree Fahrenheit oven and continue cooking for 1 to 1 1/2 hour

Test the chili for salt and pepper

Serve in big bowls with a garnish of finely chopped Cilantro, Queso Asadar crumbles and a handful of Fritos. 

The recipe serves many.

Don't get tied up too soon after you eat this. You could be very uncomfortable. (strictly speaking from experience).

Sunday, January 18, 2015

The Storage Box - Answer to Slave


Not exactly but I have been in very tight confinement for long periods of time, not like the boy can handle. He loves the shit and his body can handle it. I never could last in tight bondage like he can.

I let him out at about 40 hours. I helped him stand, he stretched his body and walked off to the shower to peel of the rubber. I believe his yoga practice and ability to zone out keeps him from getting stiff or cramping like other people I played with. He can slow his breath and pulse down easily.

He feeds like crazy after 40 hours. He attacked the vegi drawer in the fridge and drank a liter of green tea before he ran outside to see his pets. He came inside and attacked me and my cock and then collapsed on the floor under my feet.

Friday, January 16, 2015

24 Hours of Torment So Far

It was his day to relax yesterday. He could do anything that he wanted with encumbrance or obligation. He wanted a long term bondage session! He couldn't decide what he wanted so I decided for him. "The Storage Box, Boy. out to the dungeon".

We got him rubbered up. Fist a tight cat suit then the heavy rubber bondage suit with attached hood, feet and mitts. If he pisses or messes himself it is collected in the suit. I gagged him with ball gag head harness and wrapped wide duct tape over that before zipping up the hood and locking it. I slipped his leather straight jacket over his rubber wrapped body, strapped it over him and locked the buckles. I pushed silicone tubes into his nostrils and played with his breath for a few minutes then started working him into the box. I strapped his torso against the back of the box then bent his legs up against his chest and strapped them to the sides of the box. I threaded the tubes out the holes in the top of the box and plugged them into a CPAP machine that forces air into lungs and allows him to breath out into the inside of the box. I closed the box around him leaving immobile restrained within it. The padding in the box seals against air and sound. He will heat up and sweat in the prison. A small infrared camera is attached to the inside of the box so I can visually monitor him and he has a monitor attached to his chest that will alarm me in case of stress.

He has spend many days in his storage box. He reacts different each time but he is generally relaxed. He tells me that he copes with the long hours by fantasizing and counting breaths or heart beats. I can tell that he is Zen. He quietly endures, not knowing when I will let him out.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Some Famous Person and Thoughts About Personal Responsibility.

Some Famous Person had the guts to contact Master through my blog. Master has him strung up out in the dungeon.  I think I might go out and watch the actor play this very intimate role.

It has often occurred to me that the world can be a very scary place. The scariest thing is that most of us never do anything to personally fight against extremism and greed.

I approve of what France is doing and I think that anyone who is an extremist is dangerous, whatever their religion or creed.

We cannot point at Muslims without examining what Christians have done in their 2000 years of committing atrocities especially.  My personal view is that all religion is bad and it seems to me that justifying our violence and greed in the name of a god of any sort is a coward's way of avoiding personal responsibility.

The fact is that many of us have far more than we can ever use and we accumulate it at the expense, ultimately, at those who struggle to stay alive from day to day. Far, Far too many people live completely un-empowered existences. There will always be violence as long as the few have hundred-million dollar houses and millions upon millions are sick and starving.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Stand at Attention!

Master ordered me to stand at attention. He held a four foot long signal whip in his hand.


There was no explanation. None is required. I faced him while he cracked the whip near my left ear and then the right. The third crack hit my chest over the left pectoral, the fourth over my right. There was nothing to do but grit my teeth and follow his order.

"You are taking it like a man! Good slave!"

My front side was a mass of red welts studded with blood droplets by the time he decided that I had enough. He grabbed me and held me tightly in his immense arms. He kissed me all over my face and head then held me a step away from him. His chest glistened with drops of my blood.

He washed me with natural soothing suds in the shower then turned me around and bent me over, holding me by my hips. He fucked me, loading my ass with his giz. Yes, we bareback with each other and only each other. We stood under the waterfall shower and let it massage us until the water began to cool.

A friend sent this picture to me. I thought it was intriguingly creepy and just a little bit hot.

Monday, January 12, 2015


One of the tables in the play room is made of 8 foot long blanks with half inch spaces between them to allow straps or rope to be threaded through them.

Master ordered me to lay down on the table with my ass on the bottom edge and put a chair their so I had a place to rest my feet. He threaded a leather strap over my chest down between my arms and another strap over my stomach. He continued by restraining my upper arms and wrists to the table then ran a strap around my neck and another over my forehead. From that position, he wrapped a strap around my right ankle and bent my leg, strapping my ankle tightly around my thigh then repeated the process with the left leg. He tightened all the straps the used a long leather strap to pull my knees up against my body, leaving my ass hole extremely exposed.

I waited, expecting to be gagged and blindfolded but le left the playroom with me in a comfortable but very restrictive and vulnerable position.

He planned a small poker party in the playroom, complete with cigars and ice cold beer. They played for poker chips. Each started with fifty chips valued at a dollar a chip. They played until the first person reached $100. That player earned the right to rape me while the others watched. The game went on for several hours and players continued buying at $50.00 a pop for more chips. Each time climbed to another $100, my as was plowed for the reward. Needless to say, I was rapped repeatedly, loving every moment of it.

The players rewarded me at the end of the game with slow and painful tit torture while sucking my cock. They brought me to the edge over and over again until Master gave me permission to cum but not before he unrolled a condom over my cock to collect my cum. My body shuddered and convulsed as I finally came. Ecstatic pain went through my body and head that felt almost unbearable. Master pulled the condom off my cock and held it high in the air. He auctioned it off to the highest bidder who could do what ever he wanted with it. It brought in almost a thousand dollars. The winner wanted Master to suck it down. It wasn't the first time that he had swallowed my giz.

The winnings and the cash that was thrown around the table that night was collected with plans to give it to one of the area food pantries.

They guys decided to make the poker party a monthly event. Straight and Gay men attended the party.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Beautiful Sound

I came home from a trip to the city. The other guys were out working or in town running errands.

Beautiful Sad Cello Songs trailed through the house from the direction of the boy's studio. I thought he had left his sound system on. I followed the sound, as I got closer to the studio, I heard the boy softly humming to his music. I wanted to surprise him so walked quietly. Reaching the door, I saw the boy facing a window with his eyes closed, with a cello between his knees.

I have never seen a cello in the house. I never knew that he played cello. It wasn't that he hid the fact, we never talked about.

I stood just outside of his studio door, listening as he move his bow across the strings. The songs were beautiful and sad. He played for a while before he shifted and opened his eyes. He saw my reflection in the window and turned around. "Don't stop", I said. He expressed happiness and sadness at the same moment. His eyes were wet with tears. "They found it and sent it to me, Fed-Ex delivered it".

The cello was stolen at Cornell while he studied there. It originally belonged to his Great Grandfather. He studied cello because his grandparents insisted that he learn to play music. He gave music up when his cello disappeared. The sad thing was that it was during the year that his grandfather died.

The boy continuously surprises me in so many ways.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

I'm Not a Stoic, I'm Just Built This Way.

Note to Slave:  I'm not a stoic so there is no reason to congratulate or admire. I'm hardwired to go silent during and experience. I'm not tuning out or coping or a Ball Buster Bottom. I am easily turned on so I center in on the experience and sensation so much that I can't respond. It's like an orgasm when all you can feel is the exquisite intensity that courses through your body.

Smoking: I have never been a habitual smoker. I do it for the sensation or what I perceived as pleasure. I've never smoked a cigarette nor has Master. He does smoke a cigar once or twice a day but he has decided to give it up. He threw what was remaining in his humidor into the fire. Vaping is interesting. From all that I have read, it is not as damaging as smoking but it can be more addictive, depending on the level of nicotine, which in itself causes health problems.

I started using the zero percent level. Master started at 0.12 and has cut back to 0.2 in just a short time. The e-liquid is either food grade vegetable glycol (glycerin), medical grade propylene glycol or a combination of both. Propylene glycol has been used safely for more than 50 years in a large variety of applications. Studies have shown that propylene glycol has a very low degree of toxicity. No negative health effects from exposure to small amounts of propylene glycol have ever been observed. The authorities have approved the use of propylene glycol in sensitive applications such as in pharmaceuticals, food and cosmetics, and thus confirm its safety.

Master is not getting much nicotine but what he gets helps lessen the desire to smoke. The only thing that he is compulsive about is sex, which is a good thing for me.

The Llama are adjusting quickly. Other than that, things are peaceful in the barn and yard. The dear are getting used to the dogs. They are prey and predator in the wild so it will take a little longer.


I went out of the house sleep walking last night. I made it down to the road and woke up when a passing car honked. I was in a complete haze but knew enough to get my naked ass home. I was walking west in the direction of the ocean.

It was odd that the big dogs didn't fuss when I left the house. Tommy just followed me.

I'm seeing the sleep doctor again but in the meantime, Master said he's restraining me to the bed for my own safety. I've been sleep walking since I was a toddler.

Monday, January 5, 2015

It's Been a Long Time (or So it Seems)

Master saw this picture on my New Year posting.

I can't get the tumblr address for a proper link.
He grabbed me from behind, catching my neck in the fold of his elbow and held me while he handcuffed my hands behind my back. He strung me up exactly how it is depicted in the picture. He gagged me with a ball gag, wrapping duct tape over and around my head then left me alone.
Master came back later, holding his twelve foot bullwhip. He threw it out on the floor between us. Without a word, he took several practice shots and then stepped forward to take a shot that wrapped around my right side. The knot landed on my back. The whole experience was aimed at my chest, thighs and wrapping around my sides. I had no choice but to take it. Limits are long gone. I feared each stroke but never feeling at risk od being hurt (damaged). Only one man has wrapped me with a whip and we never played after that.
Master removed the gag. It wasn't necessary anyway. I don't scream and cry out when being whipped because I am flying so high with Endorphins that it looks like I am comatose. I reached the magical moment when I started to have an orgasm. I fought it off and then, I felt a surge shooting through my entire body. My cock was painfully hard. I held it as long as I could before I spewed gobs of cum across the floor between us.
Master gave me a few sips of water then snapped a pair of clamps on my tits and left me. I hung exhausted in the restraints, waiting for what ever he planned to do next.
BTW: Everyone on the ranch has quit smoking. We are using Vapes instead.  Master, Christopher and Butch are using juice with nicotine in it. I am using nicotine free. It's a fun sort of hobby and a satisfying thing to do. The nicotine addicted guys are gradually cutting back to zero nicotine. 
The reindeer are settling in. We opened the gates separating the animals to allow them to mingle and check each other out. The biggest problem is with the Llama. The big guy is very territorial and fearless so when the reindeer got near the alpaca, he charged at them. 

Friday, January 2, 2015

Home At Last

Driving across Nebraska and most of Nevada seems like a trip that will never end.  I think we said "energize Scotty" more that a few times. The trip through the Sierras is magical, even from the freeway but there was never a moment that felt as good as passing Sacramento. It hardly seems fair that we have to drive almost to San Francisco to go north toward home.

How I love the usually unhurried, not quite rural vibe of the town.

The whole family was waiting for us. The chaos of the geese attacking an unknown vehicle lead to the greater flurry of barking dogs, except for Tommy. He waited quietly yet excited, waiting for his turn to be hugged, scratched behind the ears and wrestled. He knew who was in the van.

That makes six reindeer, we're short two to make up Santa's team. The older male's name is Sigurd, the female is Ana. The two younger were immediately named Helga and Arn as I greeted them in the field.

Master went to bed to rest the moment the dogs cleared a path for him. I sat on the ground, resting in front of the barn to spend time with Tommy, Sancho and Panza before going in to shower off the road dust. Tommy followed me as he always does.

I'm going out to help get all the fur children in the barn before dinner with the entire human family. It will give me an opportunity to connect with them after my absence.

I am looking forward to getting in a routine again. Master and I haven't been ourselves during the trip. I looking forward to having him around and in me for the night.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

The Trip - Sensing a Bit of Madness

Sensing a bit of madness we woke up before the sun, showered then hopped in the van. I threw another packing blanket away because the Einar and Alice soiled it. We started with a box of twelve and we're down to eight. The walk around the hotel was nearly unbearable. I am no longer accustomed to the bitter cold and Einar and Alice do not have the defenses that their Northern Scandinavian cousins have against it.

We're in a suburb west of Salt Lake City. Christopher opted to sit with the reindeer, allowing me to sit  and do other things with Master who is even more madly horny than I am. He fucked me in the restaurant bathroom. It's not the kinkiest thing we've even done.

We're hoping to make it to western Nevada for stopping for the night so that we're wide awake when we go through the Sierras. The weather, except for the cold is holding out perfectly for us. I'm looking forward to getting home tomorrow so that I can sleep in our own bed.  Butch and Daniel are all ready home from their trip to Oregon to bring home the rest of Einar and Alice's family.  We'll have six reindeer instead of the four fawns that we originally planned for. We're binging in a prize adult male and female that are four years old. It will be good for the youngsters to have parental figures to guide and protect them.

Does anyone have any great New Years resolutions to share?

Mine are to have more kinky sex, build some muscle mass and love more, in no particular order.

Have a Happy, Prosperous and Compassionate New Year!