Losing a chunk of my life

I lost everything that I have written over the past year when I dropped my external hard drive on the floor.  It feels like I lost a big chunk of my life. I'm trying to recover the data on my own before sending it to a lab that said they charge $3000.  I just have to think of it as keeping a child from dying.  It was stupid to not have it backed up on the cloud and another drive.

We're staying in a hotel again.

Master hired a "body guard" though Die Schloss unknown.  I expected that he would be a big shaved head man like Master but Master chose a thin bearded dark haired man, He is licensed to carry a concealed weapon in most US stated and counties of Europe. He is a trained Martial Arts practitioner with the eyes of an eagle. He's kinky and no-nonsense as one from the Die Schloss is expected to be.

I'm still not convinced that I need a body guard but I guess I can look at the whole situation as having another companion in my life.  I grew up with it so I can get accustomed to it again.

Tenzin Gyatso, His Holiness the Dalai Lama said  "True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason".  A yoga instructor that I found on the web said "we don't know what internal hell a person is facing so BE KIND".

I live a kinky life in which I submit to Master's rule over me.  It often includes pain, bondage and submission to his desires,  He protects me, cares for me and pushes me to do things in other parts of my life that I might not do on my own. He has hurt me once in an emotional way because he could not explain the internal fight when dealing with his Mother's death and shrinking family.  The pain went away when he came home to me and let me yell at him in our one and only argument. I learned that compassion often needs to be expressed, even when we don't understand the plight of another.

We're in Italy.  We haven't played, other than fucking, for going on the fourth day.

Most people think of art, architecture, great cities, vineyards and pasta when thinking of Italy.  I think of olives and orchards of trees, black truffles and house table wines.  It all forces me to humiliate myself while trying to communicate in a language that I don't know.  I just laugh at myself when I can't communicate.  I smile and touch people more when I am in Europe than when I am at home.