Sunday, November 16, 2014


Have you ever been tightly bound with no way and suddenly felt so tired that it wasn't fun anymore?

We just escaped from the Chateau today. We generally had a good time, speaking for all of us except the incident when I was chained ankles to genitals with my wrists chained behind to a waist chain and a collar attached to a heavy steel kettle ball. The where caning me. I was tightly gagged and blindfolded.

In an instance, I felt extremely tired and bored. I just wanted out and to be done with being a victim. Yes! I said victim. Not slave but victim. There was nothing to do about it. It felt like having influenza or being hurt in and accident. You want it to end but you know it's not going to end until your body has worked through it and the sick feeling or pain gradually subsides. It made me wonder "Why the hell am I doing this?".

So, we're leaving for London tomorrow. I don't even know what the weather forecast is.


  1. Cloudy but mainly dry, about 8c.

    Interesting, your feelings that is. Wouldn't you say that, in essence, a slave is a victim? Even when it's a chosen path ( but obviously in "slave captured against his will") factors can conspire to make it feel so, as it did with you. Choosing to be a slave I think you are still a victim in the true sense, although one of your own free will. Isn't that part of the eroticism?
    I can speak only from personal feelings but as soon as that magic goes from a particular scene or play - and that could be over days or weeks - there comes the feeling you wrote about. Must be the same sort of feeling you get when you're tired of your job and wonder why you made that choice. Circumstances conspire to make us feel like that about many things in life and that's when family, friends and people who care generally, help you to come out the other side. Things evolve, people evolve.
    Then again it may simply be tiredness. As I said a few blogs ago, -"All play and no work............" Perhaps you all need to just take it easy for a bit, chill.

  2. Just curious if you think that having a stranger put you in this position had anything to do with your feelings? You seem to take it very well, even relishing it, when you Master or other parts of your family put you in similar or even more intense situations.