Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Extreme Punishment!?

My Dad never hit me but the punishment he inflicted was harsh. I spent many long hours sitting in a chair, facing him in his chair while he lectured me about my error and the effect that my behavior had on other people as well as on myself. He never made a disparaging remark about me but concentrated on making a poor decision. Then there were the long hours that I spent sitting in the chair, in silence, thinking about what I had done or how I hated my dad or trying to figure out how to pass the time. (I never hated my Da, he was my hero and I loved him and loved being with him.) Boredom and not being allowed to do anything until Da decided I was well punished was agonizing.

And so that's the approach Christian used except that he didn't lecture the slave. He sat quietly in the corner of the room working while the slave laid on the table anticipating a physical punishment. Christian allowed him to get up to defecate and piss before he came up to bed, leaving the slave to lay face down on the table, waiting. Christian took his breakfast down to the punishment room and ate it there. He did the same at lunch. Finally, when he was done eating, he told the slave that his punishment was complete and that he expected not to have this conversation again. The slave cleared the dishes and brought them up to the kitchen.

He cleaned himself up and went outside to work, having not eaten for twenty-four hours. Butch caught a glimpse and realized that the slave was sluggish and slow and that he was showing signs that he needed to eat to bring his energy up.

It is done and over with.

Yeah, the boy is borderline ADHD  he is an adult who has gone through one crisis after another over his lifetime. We talk about it from time to time and he realizes the need to cut those residual negative feelings off and focus on the present and his dreams for the future. He's a bit out of sorts by moving but happy at the same time. We're moving to a new home in a place where there are no family ties or memories. He made a killing on the sale of this property and unloading the fears of living with earthquakes, water shortages and paying high taxes that support the migrants.

He won't need medication, he has me and his entire family working together with him.


  1. Wonderful. You know I nearly wrote and asked if a "mental" punishment could be as effective as a physical one, a time to reflect and consider the effects one's behaviour has on the rest of the family and the disappointment felt by you at his outburst. I'm really glad it's all worked out well and hopefully this sort of behaviour will get less and less as the move takes place and a new start takes over.
    Your dad had the best solution too, it was well thought out and it worked so much better than the strap, for the purpose for which it was intended - to change the way you acted by showing where your behaviour hurt yourself or others - not by inflicting pain as a quick fix. I never did think that worked as well with kids or adults.
    It;s difficult to shed negative thoughts when your life has had so much to cope with, they keep creeping back but as you say, with the family there together you'll overcome the problems.

  2. I agree, this punishment is more effective than a physical one.
    Glad that Butch noticed that the boy was low on energy and needed some food.
    From some of your descriptions of the dishes Tony produces, how come the boy denies himself food? It has been a topic in this blog several times. Will you have a vegetable patch at your new house? Nothing tastes as good as home grown!