What a healthy relationship looks like

I'm reading Buddhist Boot Camp by Timber Hawkeye for the fourth time. I read it because I need constant reminder about what is important in life. I've sent copies to friends and people that need to break from unhealthy thinking and doing.

You can visit Timber's website at: http://www.buddhistbootcamp.com/

Now that I have been in a relationship with Master for almost two years and we're looking toward marriage this weekend, this chapter is especially important.

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."                                                              -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Relationships are often misunderstood to be a simple commitment between two people; a dedication to each other with a sense of belonging to one another. That kind of limited perspective breeds expectations, possessiveness and disappointment, and it reeks of ownership, greed and selfish desire.

A healthy relationship is an agreement between two people to support each other's spiritual practice. It is a vow to encourage each other's dedication, devotion and path, free from attachment or expectations (yet full of caring and compassion). A healthy relationship is based on unconditional love, not one where the need is to possess. Although you put plenty of "heart" into it, you lose nothing by giving it away. If each person is equally dedicated to inspire, create, awaken and enrich the lives of others, then there is no hidden agenda. It is far less important what one receives from the other as what on can give. Intimacy would suddenly surpass warmth and tenderness to also include patience, vulnerability, honesty, active listening, understanding, connection and unwavering trust.

There is a healing power inherent in this kind of union, and it is capable of deep transformation for both people. It is an incredible opportunity to actually practice what we learn (from non-violent communication to meditation, listening, mirroring, authenticity, resolve, radical honesty, appreciation, purpose, equality, celebration, and mutuality).

Healthy relationships are a collaboration of sorts, two peaceful warriors spiritually supporting one another on their individual journeys to spread positivity and light.

May we all close the gap between what we believe and how we act in the world.

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This is who we are. Even when we are deeply involved in activities that reflect a certain kind of violence, it is based on the love we have for each other, trust and above all, the desire to see the other person happy. It extends to our family, employees and the community that benefits from our lives.
We live what seems like complicated lives but try to be as simple as possible. It's as easy as making the first decision to live for other people and letting go of our fear of what we don't understand.

"All the happiness in the world stems from wanting others to be happy,
all the suffering in the world stems from wanting the self to be happy."

-Shantideva