Moving day at the ranch went without a hitch. The boy vacated his studio from the house to a freshly completed building. It has three thousand (plus) feet of concrete floors, white painted reclaimed wood walls, shelves and shelves and cabinets of storage space, drying rack a wall easel for doing large work, stainless counter and sinks. The ventilation system is quiet and the sound system can be loud. A finely woven stainless steel mesh separated the work are from the lounge and office. Light pours in from north facing window and ceiling fixtures with ultra-natural lamps.
His lounge is furnished in French reproductions from Restoration Hardware with a well worn oriental carpet on the floor to anchor everything.
The boy describes it as "Nirvana". He is absolutely dead-on in his description.
In spite of his excitement and exhilaration, the boy seems weepy. His eyes are blue pools of tears that never quite fall on his cheeks. When ever we're near each other he takes my arms upon his shoulders and leans into me. He is laying on the floor near my desk as I finish my work for today. Tommy is curled in the boys grasp like a Teddy Bear. I had planned on tying him up tonight but I think we'll crawl into bed after dinner.
You may notice the boy's absence from the blog. I've taken his phone and internet access away from him, just because I want to.
Undoubtedly you can withdraw them because you want to, but I have to ask why. And I think we know each other well enough here to know that I'm not just trying to shake things about. It's a genuine question. I can see the Master slave dynamic and notion of power and will, which is reason enough I suppose. But is it also a kind of mental bondage? I view the blog as both a diary and a vehicle for the internalisation of thoughts and feelings of both the reader and writer. The human psyche depends upon interaction with others, the sharing of anger, of distress, genuinely helps us to internalise these feelings and get over them. My opinion, which I know cannot be important to you for all the obvious reasons,is that Trace often needs to get things off his chest so that they become clearer and more "understandable" at times. As it is with all of us. As a reader here I find the blog as helpful to me for exactly the same reasons.
ReplyDeleteSo, this is in no way trying to critisise but to gain knowledge and understanding of the different levels and degrees of the power exchange between you.
The studio sounds amazing, something I'd die for, I have a worn oriental carpet too but it goes no where near my mess I use as a studio:) Perhaps the weepiness is another outward sign of his body saying "slow down a bit here." It's also a sign of contentment and inner peace perhaps. Apologies for this ramble.