Sunday, April 26, 2015

New Postings Will Begin

New Postings will begin in Mid-May.  We will be moving the blog to it's own domain. We are considering monetizing the site by adding advertisements to kink gay friendly businesses. Any funds, if we decide to monetize the site, will benefit Charity.  The site will be free as always with no membership. We are also considering adding original photographs from our own activities.

We are open to suggestions. Please reply in the comments section for this page.


 
From Tumblr

Friday, April 24, 2015

TAKING A BREAK

 
 
We will be taking a break for a while.




Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Th PlaySpace at the Ranch and Games We Play

We have a large post and beam building adjacent to the animal barn. It is our main play space with the larger equipment. The ceilings are high enough so that I can swing a 12 foot whip.  The sitting room off our bedroom was converted to a private play space. Boy's uncle built another "party" room off the wine cellar with spaces for tables and chairs. We removed the furniture and added locking steel doors to two spaces and insulated the third space for sound and installed a heavy wooden door. The space in deafening in it's quiet. The insulated room is where boy rides out a migraine. We also play outside among oak trees when weather permits.

Our toy collection grows but I think we have enough for now. At least we have enough big toys.

My boy is all tied up this morning in coils of black rope. I added a silicone plug under his Carrara for his further discomfort..


The following is brazenly stolen from my favorite site  metalbondnyc.com
Visit his site often!


Idea for a bondage game


 
Part One: Prisoner rolls one die, with the result of the roll to be as follows:
  • Prisoner rolls a 1, his hands are cuffed behind back with a chain running from metal collar to cuffs, and he is locked in a cage or isolation cell.
  • Prisoner rolls a 2, his neck is locked to ring in floor with 3 feet of slack.
  • Prisoner rolls a 3, his neck is locked to ring in floor with 3 feet of slack and hands are cuffed behind back.
  • Prisoner rolls a 4, his neck is bolted to ring in the floor with no slack.
  • Prisoner rolls a 5, his neck is bolted to ring in the floor with no slack and his hands are cuffed behind.
  • Prisoner rolls a 6, his neck is bolted to ring in the floor and his wrists/ankles are spread eagle, with prisoner on his back.

Part Two, after Prisoner’s bondage is determined with the first roll, prisoner is restrained and then the Captor rolls TWO dice, with the results as follows:
  • Total number on both dice equals the number of hours the prisoner stays in the bondage.
  • If prisoner rolls a double (i.e. two 2’s or two 5’s) the total number of hours is doubled. For example, if prisoner rolls two 4’s, he spends 16 hours in the bondage (4 plus 4 is 8 hours, which is doubled to 16).
  • Prisoner will therefore be subjected to a minimum of three hours (if he rolls a 1 and a 2) to a maximum of 24 hours (if he rolls two 6’s) in bondage.

Part Three, interpretation of rules and consequences
  • If prisoner complains or asks for early release, he forfeits all rights to release from the bondage and captors may extend imprisonment time and/or increase the severity of the bondage, at their discretion.
  • There is only one way for the prisoner to get out early, and that is for the prisoner to convince the captor or another person to change positions with him and become prisoner.
  • If that happens the new captor rolls two dice, which determine the sentence for the new prisoner, which is an additional 3 to 24 hours.



Another game that we play

http://wheeldecide.com/index.php?c1=2+days&c2=4+days&c3=8+days&c4=16+days&c5=32+days&c6=64+days&c7=128+days&c8=288+days&c9=2+y

 
 
His Spin of the wheel earned him 32 days of lock-up. That added to over a week locked already is a good start toward total frustration.
     

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Home, We Are All Home At Last

slave: The box is and isn't the same. The first box is sound proof and lined with leather. The straps are leather and it was designed so that multiple layers of rubber or leather can be worn inside. A minute amount of movement is possible and it is far more comfortable than the new steel box. I am much more cramped in the steel box. Attempts to move are painful because the metal straps are tight and the edges feel threatening against bare skin. I didn't design the thing and I'm not enamored with it.

Master Ian is home,  we are all home at last.
This is the first thing I've done today that doesn't require a "physical coupling" with Master since he walked in the door.



Just a picture from Tumblr.
The slave doesn't look happy.
That's that opposite of what I feel today but still, I emphasize with him.

On the other hand, bring chained and owned by Master is one of the best things in my life.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Master!

Master Ian comes home today, in a matter of hours.

Ray dropped the new toy off early this morning. He insisted on doing a "fitting" so in I go. It's essentially a small iron box. The bottom, back, left side and top are permanently welded and reinforced now. I slid into to the box and Ray clamped my neck, above my hips and upper arms inside the box. He pulled a hinged steel bar up between my legs with cuff attached to it the pulled my wrists forward and locked them in the cuffs, He clamped my left ankle to the side of the box then positioned the right side of the box and fastened it to the rest od the box. He clamped my right ankle to that then position the front wall and fastened it to the  box. I was jammed and locked inside the box. There is a sliding observation window in the front wall. Holes allow the top to peer inside and gives the captive limited ability to view outside the box. With the window cover on, there is nothing but darkness.

 
Bind in self bondage that goes wrong. I'd bet anything that it is intentional.
I love self bondage because I intentionally get myself into situations that I can't get out of so I am stuck until Master (or someone) finds me. I've been stuck for hours on occasion. Sometimes I am discovered and left other times discovered and tortured.
 

 
This picture has been around a while.I've been bound like this for hours while Master relaxes.
I like it when He smokes a cigar when I am bound and "Ignored".I think this picture is where He got the idea to do this to me.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

I'm Hardly Awake Today

It feels like a dog day of August for me today. Everything I do seems to take more effort that usually. I slept through my 6:AM internal alarm and slept until 9:20 Am when Tony came into the room and shook me out of bed. Without realizing it. I went to the breakfast table without putting any clothing on. I cleaned up after breakfast so Tony and his love could go off and spend the day together. It took discipline to clean and more time than is reasonable. I went shopping for a while but went home because decisions were too hard to make. I'm just sitting here, my brain turns off and on and I fall asleep mid-keystroke. I'd go to bed but it seems like too much effort.

Master starts his trip home in a few hours. He's flying commercial and he's already complaining about how terrible the flight is. He said that he wants both of us to get pilot license's so we can fly ourselves around. Hmmm.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Serving, slave, Beyond Sex

I know that many of my days are spent focusing on sex, bondage and kink that makes me feel horny, even though I am more often than not unable to bring it to finality. I think that most of us equate our kinky activities with sexuality, I know I do. But, for some of us, serving our Master goes beyond the obvious, like finding new ways to focus our activities to make that ONE person in our lived feel happy.

I commissioned my friend who is a tea hunter and expert to build a Tea house for me. It is located at the edge of the woods at the lower end of the property. We furnished it today and he began to teach me to perform a Chaji. It will take long practice to perform one with grace and dignity.

Master will be home sometime Monday.

When we take time for anything beyond love making, sex and kink, I will take Master to the Tea House.

Friday, April 17, 2015

I Rarely Work

I rarely work in the studio in the evening but last night, I took advantage of the quiet and lack of demands. I penciled a beginning for a new piece of work. I'm doing a painting of prayer flags again. I am always fascinated by them stretched across a mountain site and laying in heaps below those that are still flying.  Perhaps because they represent prayers and dreams of the people who hang them. They begin as bright pieces of clothe and fade in the sunlight, wind, rain and snow until they finally fall to the ground. People hang new prayers in their place.

They are silent prayers. Some times they are hung by a congregation of folks, other times they are hung by a single person in memory of a loved one or simply to honor the unknowable. Prayer the way it should be, silent and unending celebration and thankfulness.

I digress, the painting of prayer flags is prayer in itself, although I have nothing in mind aside from color and movement.

I did a project in a studio art class that took an entire semester to complete. (Yes, we were required to take classes in the arts and humanities to earn a business degree.) The project was made up of twelve 30 by 40 sheets of archival museum boards. I fastened them together temporarily then drew giant prayer flags across the entire surface. I crushed and pushed soft pastels into the cotton fibers, filling the panels with blends of color in hues that you would find in a painting by Monet. The panels were framed individually in thin steel frames and hung six inches apart. The entire pieces was over 10 feet tall and 12 feet wide. I showed the pastel in the university gallery. It was labeled “Not for sale”. I sold it. It hangs in a corporate lobby in New York.  The money that I raised went to a temple in Bhutan to be used to feed and house the very poor.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Six Days

Master will be home on the 21st. I am excited about that!

I am writing s story. Each time I begin, I feel like it begins to feel trite because it's just a variation of something that I've read over and over again. Carl Jung's theory of the Collective Unconscious becomes more and more obvious as I read erotic stories. We all seem to share  versions of a finite set of fantasies. I think it's worth diving into his writings again now that I don't have academic deadlines.  There are also finite numbers of Archetypes within our kinky community even though we try to think of ourselves as out side of a norm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Speaking of fantasies?  Christian took it upon himself to cuff my hands behind my back and lock irons around my ankles and stuff me into a small cage for the night. Except for the Carrara, I have not had bondage since my visit to Ray last week. It felt good to be confined.

I wonder if Christian knows he is becoming our direct employee instead of being supplied to us by the Chateau. That means that he is free to do as he likes, like pursuing his relationship with Jason.


tumblr_nhivj0g73s1tkpks3o1_500.jpg
 
The guy in this picture looks isolated.

 
 

tumblr_miudnsvrPR1reowsio1_540

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Answers to Comments

The chains at The Chateau are a piece of cake compared to those that our friend Ray made for "Object" experience. Ray's weigh in at over a hundred pounds. They look exciting and they are but even the most willing slave is crushed under the constant weight. The chains at The Chateau weigh (maybe) 20 pounds. I think the worst thing the Chateau has to offer is isolation if that happens to be on your menu. Being in a corridor is fun because of the camaraderie. We're not supposed to laugh and joke around but that's what happened this visit. It was like being brothers who are supposed to be sleeping but read under the blankets with a flashlight. You try to outsmart the guards then fall silent the second you hear the keys in the door. Sometimes someone giggles and we all catch hell.

Face it!  If you're not having fun, Something is wrong!

And yes, we share an incredible relationship.

The Carrara is uncomfortable but Christian has opened the belt so that he could check for problems. The piercing is clean but a little pink. No other problems. You're Slave, it's a matter of getting accustomed to the change and waiting for the tissue to firm up. And to be truthful, I was pissy because Master and I have been apart too much lately. Feeling this, I am postponing my trip to Bhutan to late September, the second best season for photography. I hope I can get Master to take the trip with me.

Still, not much is happening except the daily routine of caring for my flocks. The guys did a great job sheering the Alpaca and Lama. It helped that I was there to calm them. I would have gone crazy if they slipped and cut one of my babies and they knew it. I pay extra so they don't hurry the job.

I've been working with Gouache on white paper in the studio. 22" by 30" 600 pound water color paper from Italy. It costs more that canvas but it is so crisp and absorbent that just handling it excites me. I am afraid to make a mistake because the paper itself is a piece of art.

 
Waiting for Master

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Yoga for Bondage

I practice Yoga for an hour three to four times a week. I love the work out but my original reason for starting was to be flexible for sex and bondage. I think the most important thing that is does for me and I don't realize it most of the time, is that it helps with breathe control, which in turn helps with pain management. I also practice Qi Gong, which helps with breathe control and manage my energy level.

If you haven't figured it out by now, I have ADHD. I rarely sit still unless I am in bondage or collapse at the end of the day. If I weren't surrounded by my dogs when I am relaxing, I'd be reading, playing with my phone or any weird task while watching a movie. I also talk endlessly if Master doesn't shut me up. Martial Arts helps me cope with the worst of my craziness.

So in homage to Yoga and men who seem to be good in their practice, I am posting a few pictures that I found on Tumblr. I'd post pictures of myself but Master strictly prohibits our own pictures be posted on the internet.





 
And one more of a man doing an exercise that I am working on doing.
I don't have enough strength to do it yet.
 


Master will be home in seven days. He calls everyday. He'd excited about all that he is learning and wishes that I hadn't gone home. He said he hasn't fucked or been sucked since I left so I better be ready for him when he walks in the door. He sounded a little pissed off at me one day. It is not like him to complain because he is so forceful that he usually gets what he wants.

In this case, I was a pissy little bottom and I caused both of us pain. Sometimes I wish that he would say "NO!" more often.
 

Monday, April 13, 2015

We All Have Our Bad Days

Rick,
You are absolutely correct. I'd probably get the Naval Barracks Routine if I acted that we around Master. I caught hell long distance as it was and it was well deserved. Please accept my apologies.

I'm much less self-absorbed today. I finished my work outside for the day. I rode my big stallion today. I like riding bareback but he protested because the metal from my belt was digging into his back. He was much happier after I threw a heavy blanket over his back. He stopped nipping at my leg. He never breaks the skin but it sure hurts

I'll work in my studio for the rest of the day after lunch.

I don't have much to write about and I see that Master isn't writing either. I know he is enjoying himself and I am glad of that.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Fuck This!

I really don't have much to say.

I get up early and go out to work in the barn with the animals. The Alpaca and Lama are going to sheered tomorrow. I'm going to work with the team that is coming to do the work so that I can learn more about doing it.  I also will be there to make sure the fur children aren't treated badly. I'm paying the guys to take time to do it gently.

I work in the studio all afternoon and come in to the house feeling tired instead of energized by my work. I think I really miss Master and feeling a bit depressed.  Tommy and Buddha climb onto the bed with me. Tommy lays facing me all night and grumbles when I move. I got up very early Saturday because I wanted a bowl of Butternut Quash soup. I made an entire pot from scratch but I used too much celery or maybe the celery was bitter. The soup tasted bitter instead of creamy and sweet. I cleaned up my mess and went to bed, leaving a note for Tony asking him if he could fix it.

This Chastity belt is killing me. I can't get hard and when my cock tries to shrink, the barbell going through my Apadrahvya keeps me from shrinking. Fuck This! What started as pleasure has become agony. There is nothing to be done.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Very Important LGBT Issue from the White House Staff





Watch and Share: Why We Must Ban Conversion Therapy

Chastity

First, an answer to questions. The barbell through the Apadrahvya was enough metal to set off the alarm.  Munich is ten hours ahead of California (I think).

Anyone who knows me or who reads my blog knows that I am in some sort of chastity device often.
Sometimes for weeks and sometimes for days or hours. It started as an interest that grew into a full-blown fetish. Now my interest ranges between full-blown fetish, a matter of fact and a dreaded inconvenience. It's like chocolate, a little is good but too much and I loose my taste for it for months.
It is an inconvenience right now to be locked but I have no choice in the matter. Such things and decisions about them were given to Master a long time ago. My greatest pleasure in that I have a Master who ultimately controls my life.

I drove up to Ray's workshop this morning for a fitting and to collect the chastity devices that he modified to utilize my Apadrahvya for anchoring my cock in them. He is always happy to make me suffer and I am eager to protest. It's a relationship of Sado-top and Bad boy that we play at. Except for not being allowed to cuss in our play (Master's Command), we are verbal with each other. I get to complain because unlike Master, Ray enjoys it.

Ray strung me up outside between two trees, in the cold, and flogged my back. I complained even though I was nearly comatose with the pleasure he was giving me. He was under a time constraint so that flogging last just long enough to frustrate me by making me want more.

He measured me for the new toy that he and Master designed. I crawled into a smallish iron box that I struggled to fit in. Rays fiddled with iron straps and an Allen Wrench until I was partially immobilized inside the box. One of the straps had a rounded perpendicular piece that fit into my mouth, holding my tongue flat in the bottom of my mouth. That wasn't exactly fun, in fact, I thought it was a bit scary. He made a bunch of marks around me with a magic marker then helped me sit up and crawl out of the box.

From that measuring session he moved over to a work table to get my Carrara chastity device. I started to put it on. Ray stopped me so that he could fit a stainless steel pin through one side of the cock tube. My cock was in it's normal flaccid state, allowing Ray to easily find my Apadrahvya. He treaded the pin through it and out the opposite side of the tube. He placed a small stainless steel lock through a hole in the end of the pin and locked it. I finished fastening the chastity belt and he checked to make sure it was locked. He put the keys in a small box and sealed it with a numbered tag that some people use to lock their plastic devices when the travel. He told me to give it to Christopher when I get home.

I know that all this padlocked piercing shit is sort of my idea. I think bondage is always better when locks are involved. That's why I like locks on straightjacket straps. It all seems redundant sometimes.
Too much bondage is never too much.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Nearly Home

I am writing from high above the Rocky Mountains. The sun is setting in the west and just about to drop below the horizon. I've had two gin and tonics since Montreal and I am feeling it. I can't wait to be in my own bed even though it will be half empty.

I was stopped in the Montreal airport because my collar set off an alarm as I passed from one concourse to another. They asked me to remove it and of course, I couldn't. It is permanently affixed around my neck. The security guard was a woman and I think she was having a bad day. She eventually cleared me and I began to walk on. Another very attractive woman who witnessed my "duress" (I thought it was funny because the guard was upset when I referred to it as my slave collar).
She asked me where to get a collar like it. She wants to lock one on her husband. I told her to contact Mr. S. Leather in San Francisco but if you want to attach it permanently, make sure you tell them. They might have to special order it.

Anyway, Master ordered me to rest around the ranch tomorrow then drive up to see Ray on Friday. He modified the chastity devices to utilize my apadrahvya. I'm supposed to see how they fit and get my genitals locked up until Master gets home. I am looking forward to getting back to normal.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Going Home


It is 6:35 am. I am wide awake and in my street clothes waiting for Master to awaken. It feels like the day before tomorrow and I am ready to fly. It wasn't my idea to go home early but I am glad Master made the decision to send me. I definitely would prefer it for him to come home with me and yet I understand why he is staying and that it will benefit not just the two of us. It will benefit anyone who is interested in learning from him.

Forgive me if I am babbling.

I have been naked most of the time over the past week. I've had iron restrains attached to my ankles and wrists unless Master wanted them off so nothing got in the way of his rope practice. I've gotten used to them and feel something is missing now that they are off.  The driver is taking me into Munich to catch a commercial flight to Montreal and then a private flight home.

I need to wake Master so we can have breakfast together before I go.

A Feeling of Dread

My slave will be leaving for home without me tomorrow.

He has expressed absolutely no unhappiness during this stay at the Chateau. In fact he is enjoying himself and is having fun. He hasn't really mentioned going home but I can feel that he is feeling dread about something. I ask him what is going on. I sound like some old co-dependent fag because I keep asking him what is bothering him. He smiles gently and tried to reassure me and himself that there is nothing. So, I finally asked him, "You're thinking about being home, aren't you". He admitted that he was and that he has a feeling of dread that he doesn't want to give in to. "Besides" he said, "You want me with you and I don't want to be without you.  You want to practice rope bondage more and I want you to learn more about it". He added that he didn't know how he would cope with being in Bhutan next month and that he is thinking of cancelling the trip. I told him that that he would leave for home tomorrow and that I will stay. That way he can be working with the animals and working in the studio more before he leaves for his three week walk with his monk friend. He shook his head in disapproval. I asked him which of us called the shots in this relationship. He responded, "yes sir".

"Besides" I told him, "I am sure they can find me someone to practice on."

We continued our bondage session. I learned the casting on of rope in the martial art style and securely binding the slave in a few very quick movements. The technique can range from merely secure to intensely painful depending how tightly the limbs are pulled together behind the back. The slave winced in pain at one of my tries and whispered "yes". His cock grew into an iron rod. He used breath control to cope with the pain and whispered "this feels really good, Master".

Monday, April 6, 2015

Offensive?



http://bdsmdomtop.tumblr.com/post/115720587518
 
The Club
 
Offensive or not, I couldn't resist reposting this
work of art.
 
 
 
Slave is thinking about home. He misses the menagerie and his barely used new studio. We'll be staying here for another two weeks because there is much to learn that will enhance our lives. He's still in bed, buried under mounds of pillows and sheets. I've opened a window to let cool air into the room.
 
I'm restless and very horny but I won't disturb my object because he may still be in the throws of his migraine. NOW, if he were truly an object, I wouldn't care how he feels. I would fuck him regardless, right? I can't do that sort of thing to him the way I could when we first met.

The Weekend

I wish the holiday weekend would have been spent at home with family although the people of the Chateau and the members are and extention of  that family. We're not Christians and we don't celebrate any holidays that have usurped pagen European seasonal celebrations. For us, we mark holidays as good reason to celebrate family.

All the slaves stood behind the Master's chairs during a formal dinner. They wore nothing except their collars. The slaves were bright and attentive and served perfectly. Some were more adept than others, having more experience at formality. I personally think formality is a sort of falseness.

My boy is experiencing a migraine. He is in my bed sleeping instead of in the dungeon. I am beginning to unserstand that he gets migraines when over tired. He hates to give up on his own expectations so he ends up crashing.

I am slowly learning to perfect rope work by having started at the very basic wrist snare. I have to work at giving up what I think I know so that I can learn new techniques.

You can teach an old dog knew tricks but it is often times very difficult.

I want to write more but I am fighting sleep.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Ass Whoopin"

boy was laying hal awake on the bed. I was up hanging up my suit and trousers that I wore the day before. The boy heard me draw the belt from the trousers and kicked off the sheets and spread his arms and legs. He wanted the belt and the sting badly. I obliged of course.

I heard a gentle knock at the door and quietly opened it. The Master of the Chateau stood in the hall with a big smaile on his face.

"Good Morning, I trust you are emjoying yourselves".
He came to talk to us while my boy and I were together. It was a casual conversation about life in general, the business of keeping Christian with us at home and the direction that we are taking in our relationship. He added that we should be sure to utilize the staff if we need advice or help and that we should be visiting the Chateau more often since we are paying our membership annually.

I began giving the boy a good welting and invited The Master to join in. He drew his belt from his slacks and joined me. We double teamed the boy, one from each side of the bed. Boy went nuts. He starting humping the bed. I told him not to cum. He howled more and begged us to "do it right", which got him into trouble. We knew his game. We stopped and I ordered him to get on his knees. I forced him to kneel on the studded belt that I wear in my jeans. I forced him to stay while I cleaned up for breakfast. He struggled to hold his tears back.

I beat the boys back with my belt and then sent him to clean himself up and go to the dungeon to begin his day.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Intensive Bondage and Gagged

My slave, my boy and husband was laying in my bed when I was shown to my room here at the Chateau. He was bound with yellow rope. He was bent backwards in an intense hot tie that made it look like he was woven into a tight fabric. There was not a knot to be found and yet he could not move and there was no escape. He was gagged with a small coil of rope stuffed in his mouth held in place by another rope wound and cinched around his head.

I moved him onto his right side so that I could kiss him. The linens beneath him showed a pool of pre-cum that had been soaked up by the sheets and mattress topper. He was a picture of The Agonay and Ecstacy.  After inspecting and admiring his baondage I began to release him from the cinches that held him immobile. I had not had my cock in his ass for almost a week and I was at my breaking point.

I fucked him and then fucked him again and again until I was totally dry. I turned him over onto his back to work his cock until he came. I bound him with my legs and arms and fell asleep.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Now For the Fun Stuff!

The slave is playing the waiting game. They took him out of rope bondage when the wardens touch him and realized that he was very cold. He sat still far too long and began shivering once a warm hand touched his back. They warmed him up by giving him a long hot shower complete with yellow streams of briny piss. They fed him, almost forcefully when he said he wasn't hungry. It was probably true. He never feels hunger and will go hypoglycemic before he realized he needs to eat. (Some times I think I married a baby bird).

He's been sitting in a long stone dungeon, chain neck, hands and feet and fastened to the wall alongside several other slaves. They tell me that he has comforted one slave who was terrified of his circumstance and wonders what he has gotten into. He was in the same position not so very long ago. Other than that, nothing has happened except a few whacks on the ass for being to boisterous.

I have one meeting yet this morning then I will drive to the Chateau in a rented car. I'm getting itchy to get a hold on my slave's ass. I can't even begin to count the cum filled towels that I've thrown on the bathroom floor for the butler to pick up. I've arranged to have my slave sleep with me at night then go to the dungeon for a day of activities that I plan to be part of.

 
from tumbler

Like We've Been Saying All Along - Discrimination is Rooted In Ignorance

 

March 30, 2015

Indiana Governor Stunned By How Many People Seem to Have Gay Friends

By




INDIANAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Indiana Governor Mike Pence is “stunned and amazed” that so many people appear to have gay friends, Pence has confirmed. Speaking to reporters in his office in Indianapolis, Pence said that he made the astonishing discovery about gay friends late last week.
“You could be walking down the street, and without you knowing it, this person is friends with gays and that person is, too,” he said. “It really seems to be pretty widespread.”
 
“It’s the darnedest thing,” he added.
 
While Pence acknowledged that he has “no gay friends personally,” the growing popularity of being friends with gays has made him question whether he has been “missing the boat on this.
“When I see so many people having gay friends, it makes me wonder if I should go out and get one,” he said. “But I guess that would be kind of hard for me to do now.”
Get news satire from The Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox.


Pence and his cronies are FUCKING IDIOTS!  He probably has Gay people "touching" him through out his entire life and is too stupid to know it!

LORD! SAVE ME FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS!