The simplest things can be the most agonizing.
There is a lot of talks about "Objectification" on blogs lately. I must admit that I like the idea myself. I hadn't really thought about it much but many time, I think Master treats me as an object. He dispassionately uses me then stuffs me away someplace or ties me up where he can see me struggle to find relief from a stressful position.
Not long ago, on our last trip to London. Master had a stainless steel head harness made to fit my head perfectly. Besides gagging me, it fits to perfectly to keep me from opening my mouth. He couldn't wait to get the thing. He slid that thing over my head and locked it. He said "I love you but sometimes I love you more when you're gagged". I seemed to have seen that as a caption of some Tumblr blog.
Rigid things on my head freak me out. I even have to combat panic when I put my motorcycle helmet on. I wore that steel head harness for days except for meals simply because he knows I hate it and he gets off knowing when I hate something that he does to me.
Night before last, Master tied Shibari wrist restraints on both arms then threw the free end of the rafters in the second floor lounge. He pulled my arms up and apart so that I could barely stand. He strapped a rubber ball gag in my mouth and left me there in the middle of the lounge. The guys totally ignored me. I felt like a piece of statuary that they didn't notice or care about anymore. I spent the night, yesterday and most of last night that way with no physical contact. I am completely exhausted and my shoulders ache.
A bit earlier in the day before he tied me he told me that I had enough play for a few days. He changed his mind quickly.
Sometimes I am Masters object, sometimes I am his prized procession, sometimes I am the love of his life. I rarely know where his moods will lead me.
Am I an object?