Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Speaking Up

I sat quietly at the breakfast table. I had decided to keep my mouth shut and do what I was told until I understood my feelings. I didn't each much because I was focusing on the situation and tried very hard to be Zen about it. I didn't intent upon doing so but I was brooding and my facial expression exhibited it.

Butch spoke, "Ian, we're talking out on the deck after breakfast". Butch's loyalties are to me. He was my first hire, my friend and I've given him ownership in this land and house. He has power of attorney and executor of the property if something were to happen to me. I trust him.

I went out to be with my menagerie.

The first family argument was occurring in my absence and I knew it was about something that Master was doing and his attitude about my feelings. He tried to feminize me once before when he turned me over to a Domme in Paris. It didn't go well and he promised he would never do anything like that again. Has he forgotten his promise or didn't he think this corset had anything to do with feminization?

Butch came out to talk to me while I was throwing a ball for the dogs. He said "go in the house and demand that he remove that thing or I'm going to take my trimming knife and cut it off". It is an issue that has grown out of perspective, especially since I didn't know or understand how I felt about it beside it's immediate repugnance. I promised Butch that I would talk to him again once I came more assured about what I truly felt. I went back to playing with the dogs. I was naked except for the corset.

It was afternoon before I went back into the house. Lunch was being served outside on the pool patio so I went to our bathroom to wash. I passed through the hallway and past Master's office on the way. He got up from his desk to follow me, stopping me in the threshold of our bedroom. Without speaking, he unlocked the corset and removed it. He apologized for damaging our relationship. I was still angry, I wanted to say something threatening or mean but I kept my mouth shut. My grandmother once told me that I have a "tongue like whip" after we argued about wanting to go out with a friend that she didn't like. I hurt her deeply. That one experience taught me that I had a power that I should never wield. I hugged him and then went to wash.

Master reached out to touch Butch and thanked him for his insight. The argument was over.

Joe asked if he could wear the corsets if we weren't going to use them. Hairy Bear with the tattooed bear is into that sort of thing. Figures.

1 comment:

  1. I am so pleased for you both and thank Butch for me too. It's funny but you seem to have an extended family here on the net. I worried all night about you and Ian and what the relationship was going through. I hated the thought of you being sniggered at by the family you've put together but seem to think that was what was happening.
    Kudos to you for not wielding your whip tongue and to Ian for accepting this wasn't something he could do to you. Mistakes happen, you suck them up and get on. Fuck it, why do I feel lighter now, I don't really know you, I just do somehow.

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