Sometimes it just happens, we'll be somewhere relaxing and all of the sudden, the boy will get a screwed up expression on his face and I can usually guess correctly, bam! He gets a migraine. Today was different.
We were enjoying a brunch al fresco with a few friends when a woman walked by our table who was wearing a light gray dress. She was blond and smelled heavily of Lily of the Valley. She was carrying a Martini from the bar in one hand and a cigarette between the fingers of her right hand. She brushed against the boy. The boy quickly turned to acknowledge her when she apologized. The boy turned back and began to get that screwed up expression. He grew quiet. Minutes later, the boy got up and rushed to the restroom holding his fist over his stomach. I followed and caught him just as he vomited. I thought, "this could be a migraine". The boy came back to the table and tried to relax but soon asked to be excused and got up to go outside. He started to walk in the direction of the condo before I paid the bill and tried to catch him.
The boy climbed into bed with his clothes on and covered his head with a blanket and pretended to be sleeping until he actually fell asleep. He talked in his sleep, saying something to his mother in dream.
He woke a couple hours later and greeted me. He asked me if I wanted to go shopping.
??????
The woman looked and smelled like the memory of his mother. She would do her hair and dress-up to leave for her daily card games or round of golf at the country club but not before splashing herself liberally with Muguet. She wore bright red lipstick and smoked pathologically. She drank Martinis instead of eating while lunching with her friends. He hasn't seen her since his grandfather ripped him from her care to protect him from her during her tantrums. His grandparents protected him, shrouding him and hiring Max to be his body guard, manny, best friend and surrogate father. The woman's present led him into an anxiety attack that exploded before he could grasp it and think himself through it. Had I known, I might have been able to help him.
So the boy and I went shopping. We'll stay in the condo tonight then leave for home tomorrow after the worst of rush hour is over.
While reading about T's past here I've wondered if the people who affected his earlier life were still around and if so was that of concern. It shows how much he needs you and the extent to which he is still prone to those feelings from the past when things happen as they did at brunch.
ReplyDeleteI bet rush hour isn't nearly so bad on the bikes, decent bit of weaving should have got you through in no time :) Just watch for those blue flashing lights.
T,
ReplyDeleteI have 4 half-siblings and numerous nephews and nieces. One half-brother was had a massive coronary while being beaten for making disparaging remarks about his Mexican co-workers ethnic background to their faces. Max is still alive. Everyone that I knew as adults when I was a child have passed on. My Father died when I was 2 years old. My mother died from heart failure.
I've learned to live with the past for the most part but this woman looked like and had all the affectations of my mother. I was stunned to the point that I felt she was a ghost. I lost control before I knew what I was feeling.
Except for my mother their was no abuse. My grandparents were protective but they were poor at outward affections.
I forgot to mention a cousin from my mother's side of the family, He is the son my y mother's sister. We were close friends through most of my life. He married a fairly intelligent and controlling woman who follows her family's choice to ignore science in favor of evangelical Christian ignorance. We have spoken for eight years. He no longer answers my attempt to contact him by phone.
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