I rented a Suzuki Hyabusa a few years back when I was visiting home. It was far more power than I had ever ridden. It controlled me when I first started riding it. I took the monster on a midnight ride from home to Madison, Wisconsin when the roads where nearly empty. It seemed I was bent on self-destruction because I opened that fucker up and flew down the highway at a speed that scared me. It was exciting and it cleared my head of all other emotions. I actually out-ran a trooper near Madison then got off the Interstate to avoid being caught.
I also went parachuting and helo-skiing that same year even though I was terrified of heights. I was tearing my own envelope then. I ate foods that I had phobias about as a kid, some of the food was really strange by American or European standards.
The night on the Hyabusa was the ultimate because I was a relatively inexperienced rider and I chose to speed at every moment of the ride. I was in control.
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Then, by comparison I let something like being reminded of my mother turn me into a basket case. Master coddled me though it while I was in the throws of anxiety but caught hell for it last night at home last night.
Master ordered me to go to the punishment room. It has nothing to do with the dungeon or any sort of play. It is an empty room with a low table in the middle with nothing more that a strap hanging on the wall. There are no restraints. I have to lay on the table and take the punishment without so much as a squirm. I cannot cry out or scream. The punishment would be doubled if I did either.
Master came in a while later. "Do you know why you are here, boy"?
"Yes Master, I let my anxiety spiral out of control without communicating with you. But I didn't want to spoil the morning for you and our friends."
"I appreciate that but, they are our friends and you could have confided in them".
He pointed at the table, indicated that we were done talking. I took my position on the table. Master retrieved the strap and stood at my side for several minutes. He hung the strap back on the hook then said, "stay there" then walked out of the room, locking it behind him. He came back later to give me hell. He left me again, locking the door behind him. I "slept" there last night.
He came to get me this morning, acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
To be clear about this, when I first became Master's slave, we talked about punishment. He didn't like the idea of punishment and wanted to avoid it all together. He said it would confuse the "play" aspects of the relationship. I persisted in conditions for which it should be given. It became the only signed contract between us at the time.
No discussion of a demand or command given by Master may occur at the time it is given.
Punishment for visible or unreasonable disagreements will be intense and given Master determines.
Significant emotions will be discussed in a sensible manner when it is appropriate. Downward spiraling behavior will not be tolerated. Punishment will be given as agreed and may be amended by Master.
The Terms of punishment are rigid and may be otherwise amended by Master. We signed that as a contract after outlining in conversation the reason I wanted it enforced. Now, punishment is more of a matter of ownership that a contract. The moment that Christian beat me for not realizing and for being disrespectful to the family (a few months ago), our relationships changed, especially with Master. The actually realization of the Master/slave began to change to Owner/property. The night in play when I told Master "no more limits" became a significant breakthrough that eliminated all contracts.